  There's nothing to feel conscious of your curves between the sheets. (Getty Images) |
If these worries hound you every time you gear up for a steamy sex session, then refer to our sex guide to help you out!
A recent study revealed that only one third of UK women belonging to size 16 have sex once in a week, compared to their size 8 counter parts who get lucky almost twice. One in every ten obese women reported about not having had sex for a year – because the thought of their partner seeing them naked harassed them mentally.
Though thin women are not always happy with their bodies, but in general they tend to be more confident in bed in comparison to their overweight counterparts, whose bedroom action is almost invaded by 'size' issues. Obesity is something, which your partner might not like, so it's justified for them to lose interest in sex.
Dr. Basheer Ahmad Roy, a Bangalore-based sex specialist states, "High obesity levels surely become a matter of concern that hinders a couple's sexual life. If you're fat, your partner will be less interested because he/she knows that sexual pleasure won't be as desired. At the same time, your physical appearance will make you hesitant and less confident, thus affecting your performance in bed."
If you are beautiful, fit and active you tend to feel confident – with or without clothes. But if you are obese, you remain conscious of your body appearance and fail to concentrate on the sexual act. Stating that it's all in the mind and there's nothing to be ashamed of, marriage and relationship counselor Geetanjali Sharma explains, "Obese people are not able to arouse and satisfy their partners and they get de-motivated in the act. It's the lack of self esteem that holds them back rather than the fact that your partner doesn't like your being fat."
The reasons behind low sex drive have often been linked to obesity. Agreeing to this, Dr Shivi Jaggi, a Delhi-based sexologist says, "Obese men face a reduced blood circulation and this obstructs proper erection. Also, social factors like physical looks, body shape etc., which attribute to your partner's interest in you, further affects your sexual experience."
Moreover, the problem of obesity kills the drive to experimentation in bed using newer techniques and positions. Body weight either makes foreplay tougher or doesn't let your partner enjoy the climax. Elucidating further, Chandigarh-based sex specialist Dr. Deepak Arora shares, "When you stick to the same postures time and again, with no scope of experimentation, boredom is obvious, which gradually mars pleasure, ultimately hitting the couple's sexual life. And with both partners being obese, enjoying the act becomes impossible for both."
Dr. Roy supports, "Sex is all about bodies getting in contact with each other. But when, obesity comes in the way of pleasure and sexual fantasies remain unfulfilled due to weighty issues, problems are ought to arise between a couple. For instance, a man may desire to lift his wife in his arms, but fails due to her excess weight. As for sex positions, obese people fail to innovate, thanks to their body shape and end up banking upon the good old missionary position."
It's time to shed all inhibitions and try these trouble-free tips that help you reinstate that lost
There's nothing to feel conscious of your curves between the sheets. (Getty Images) |
Dress to kill : If the problem with the man is arousal rather than erection, the lady can use her dressing style and sex appeal to add the punch. An element of mystery always excites men. So, so opt for some enticing lingerie and make undressing more pleasurable.
Dr. Shivi Jaggi, supports, "Sexual clothing matters a lot for the partner's arousal. Oversize people are extra careful in their choices and opt for outfits that make them look slimmer. Also, it pays to know your partner's choice and then wear something you know he/she would love to see you in. Women can play around with sexy attires and attractive intimates, so that the anxiety of taking them off, even with a not-so-flattering body disappears."
Take charge : Woo your man with a newfound confidence and forget being an odd lump-bump. Surprise him by initiating the action. Dr. Jaggi elaborates, "Even in a married couple, looks matter and physical appearance, at times, decides the rate of sexual pleasure. Obese women should forget their weighty inhibitions while making love. Don't shy away from being more active, taking charge, making naughty gestures, indulging in erotic fantasies or putting up a saucy strip show. All these acts will enhance your man's interest, hence shifting his focus away from your flabby body."
Dim the lights : There's nothing to feel conscious of your curves between the sheets, but still most obese people get goose bumps at the thought of their partner seeing them naked in loud lighting. Dr. Deepak Arora suggests, "We don't suggest to a couple that they turn the lights completely on or off during a sexual session, but rather create a dim lighting effect. It will not only add to the pleasure, but will also let you enjoy your partner's expressions."
Foreplay is important : Appetisers are always more delicious than the main course and when it comes to sex, foreplay is the main ingredient that can make up a perfect sex session. Be it thin or obese couples, foreplay should be as innovative as possible. "Couples should ideally spend the maximum time in foreplay with both partners participating equally. Good communication between partners becomes extremely crucial if either of the partners is overweight. Talking about weight issues openly helps in knowing your partner's likes and dislikes," suggests Dr. Arora.
Celebrate your curves : Curves can also make you look beautiful and remember that men don't necessarily like a skinny partner in bed. Use that popping flab to arouse your man. Belly dancing can be a really good option and it will also help you shed some calories.
Relationship counselor Geetanjali Sharma agrees, "Any form of dancing excites men and belly dance is one of the most sensuous acts that plus size women can opt for. Remember, men want their women to be active, aroused and free from apprehensions. So as long as you love your body and use it to tease your man, sexual pleasure will surely fall in place."
Be curvy in your thoughts : Let your partner know that all you care about is – 'having a good time in bed'. Don't let the excess flab come in the way of intimacy. Get comfortable in your mind and this will automatically reflect in your performance.
Geetanjali asserts, "Obese individuals are always shy and think about their partner's reactions towards their body, which affects their sexual life drastically. Rather concentrate more on things where you are better, such as being innovative in bed. Instead of focusing on your body, focus on your performance and sexual acts and have a positive mindset."